I get a lot of enquiries from men who are either married or have girlfriends. Many of them seem to know what they want when they talk to me however, the majority seem to have trouble actually turning up to a pre arranged appointment. I understand what they are going through.
I would say that about 75 per cent of my clients are married. Most married guys, all they want to do is touch and feel another guy and in most cases, nothing more. More often than not, they are generally confused about their sexuality. I think though, that this current generation is changing and it is becoming easier to be gay and ‘come out’ to friends and family. But, my generation and previous generations, generally got married to hide from themselves and others who they really were. A lot of my regulars sex life with their wives has failed to satisfy them meaning there are a lot of frustrated women out there.
I used to be married so I know what these guys are feeling. I often fantasised what it would be like to be with another guy, to touch him, to feel him next to me, to rub my hands through his hair and most of all, what it felt like to kiss him on the lips. All 100% natural feelings for a guy who is attracted to other guys. I even went to a gay masseur once when I was younger. To this day, I still remember the experience. He never touched me anywhere ‘inappropriate’ but the feeling of having a guy so close to me as he worked on my body, was enough for me to blow less than half way through the massage. I was quite embarrassed about it as I’m not a quick draw magraw by any means. It just felt so good and so right for me at the time. However, before I finally worked up the courage to see him, I cancelled on him twice. I can see now what a headache I caused him at the time because that was his livelihood and it would have taken some work to fill the booking. I cancelled because I was nervous, scared of being caught, seen by someone I knew or worse still, my wife. Not to mention the guilt I felt. I felt like I was cheating on her. But, I never had the intention of having sex with the guy who was giving the massage. I just craved for that man to man contact.
So, the moral of this story is that even if you are married or are in some sort of committed heterosexual relationship, going to a gay masseur to get a full body massage IS NOT cheating on your partner. To me though, at the time, I felt really bad, but I realise now that was just immaturity and being very insecure in my self. Most married guys I meet are not prepared to leave their wife or girlfriend and ‘come out’, And that’s fair enough but they need some sort or stress release. This is not meant as advice or counseling of any sort. Coming out is a very personal thing and everyone should do it in their own time, if at all. It’s up to you, but getting a regular massage from another guy will certainly help you cope and in some ways stay sane. I do speak from experience as I went through a lot of pain and anguish at the time.
I hope this story has encouraged some of you who are in the same situation I was in some years ago now. I know it can be nerve racking the first time you go, but believe me, if it is your first time, the experience and feeling will stay with you for a long time, and in a good way!